Crappy time in the old town

My mother died on 7/10/07..........I feel like crap and I can't seem to sleep very well either. I've tried Tylenol PM, I'll zonk out for 2-4 hours, but it takes me 2 hours for that to kick in. I go back to work on 7/23...........but it's all an act. Crap, crap, triple crap. I'm almost 48 years old and I feel like I'm an orphan. Dad died 8/9/01 and it hurt like hell (I was holding his hand), but Mom pulled a sneaky one, and she died while I was in the airport on my way to see her. She knew I was coming.........did she NOT want me to see her in that "state"?
Miss you Donna Faye.......Love, your #2 daughter.