Another Day in Paradise

Yesterday was Mom & Dad's 53rd anniversary and Dad's 76th birthday...that is....if they both were still living. Both are gone now, and I feel really alone and crappy. I try really hard to act like I'm ok...Mike hates it when I'm sad, so I do the chameleon thing. Just venting.

Time passes

I tried to write something before, it failed.
I miss my Mom, I drink too much, I sleep like crap, I can't focus, and I want to be "made love to" so much. Shi! I can't do anything to help any of those issues!
I went home for the first time since Mom passed.....It was awkward because I was staying with Mariah and her family in the house I grew up in. I slept in Mom's bed..one night with Emma and the other with Tilor. Still, I felt alone.
Mariah thinks that the house is her home (she's been there since 11/2006) , but I hold the mortgage, and it is, and will forever be MY HOME! Mariah smokes in the house even though I have asked her NOT to. She says that it's her home and she can do as she wants..........it's NOT her home, until she can buy it properly, she's a tenant. I can't argue this point with her, she's defiant. I just wish that she wasn't a hard ass bitch when it comes to smoking.
Like I said.....I miss my Mom.

Crappy time in the old town

My mother died on 7/10/07..........I feel like crap and I can't seem to sleep very well either. I've tried Tylenol PM, I'll zonk out for 2-4 hours, but it takes me 2 hours for that to kick in. I go back to work on 7/23...........but it's all an act. Crap, crap, triple crap. I'm almost 48 years old and I feel like I'm an orphan. Dad died 8/9/01 and it hurt like hell (I was holding his hand), but Mom pulled a sneaky one, and she died while I was in the airport on my way to see her. She knew I was coming.........did she NOT want me to see her in that "state"?
Miss you Donna Faye.......Love, your #2 daughter.

Damn time goes fast

It's 1/2 way through October and I can't believe how fast time has gone this year. I totally forgot all about this ....mostly because Mike started his new job and was on 1st shift...therefore, I didn't have much Christy-time. He's now on 3rd, and the Christy-time comes when he is sleeping. As of today...it's been 2 years and 9 months since we've had sex together. I have something I do whenever it gets to be too much, but as far as I can see.........he doesn't care.
I've tried to coax him into something, but he always has an answer as to why he can't: "Your leg is too tired."..."I'm too tired."......"What about the cats?"..... "Aren't you tired?" etc.
What's a girl to do? I'm too old to play the field...the players out there are too "played" to play with. Damn...how time flies..................

Hot and Shitty

Well, it's DAMN hot out, and moods at my house are SHITTY! (Animals still love me)
Mike started his new job in Greencastle last Monday. his comment after 3 days, "If you don't mind a hot, dirty, stinky, unfriendly little shit-hole, then this is the place for you!"
As I write (at 7:55 PM) he's crashed out in bed. He got angry with me when I said that I'm NOT the house nigger, and if I cook, then he ought to clean up after, and vise versa. I wake up BEFORE he does, I fix his lunch, feed the critters, and I have coffee ready for him when he DOES wake up. Then I get home a good 40 minutes AFTER he does. Is that asking so much?
I'm NOT going to be the good house nigger, at least the good house nigger gets sex...........haven't had that in...let's count....30 months. Damn pitiful if you ask me.
Oh, he doesn't like me blogging, hates it actually. But he doesn't know how to check on my blogs........so I don't give a rat's ass.
Speaking of rats asses..................Mike Davis is an asshole. He doesn't really care for his people. Ask Darla, Larry, Christy, Laura, anyone. He'd just as soon sell us down river as to look at us.
Damn, the dryer just dinged, and he's snoozing away. Gotta pull out the shirts and blouses so they won't wrinkle into oblivion. I can fold the undies, socks, and undershirts later.

Boy, do I need some relief....................poop!

HAPPY 4TH

Mike's sleeping in the other room.........he's been sick with a bad case of strep throat/sinus infection. I knew that this was coming, the last 4 months have been very stressful, especially on him.
He was really sad last Friday because the "guys" at work (who weren't getting laid off) didn't have a little send-off for the 8 guys who were being laid off. Last month when a few other guys left at the end of May, Mike organized a send-off and brought the beer (drank out in the parking lot from a cooler in Mike's trunk...how 80's)
I just told him that Most men act like nothing has changed, and pretend that it's no big deal. It was the same for him in Virginia. He knew those guys for 17 years, even lived with a few of them on and off over the years, but no farewell send-off, no meaningful exchange. Hell, for the most part, only 1 guy, Robbie, has kept in touch with Mike. Guess you never really know who your friends are until the shit hits the fan.
Most men are assholes, I've found. I've worked with them for 25 years come November, and once in a while one of them will surprise me by NOT being predictable. Oh sure, sometimes Mike will do something totally out of character..and I have to cry. "Why?" you ask. Because it proves that he CAN do or say whatever it was that got the tears going, and I can't understand why he won't/can't do it all of the time. Does that make sense?
By the way, one of my resumes I sent out for Mike came through. He's supposed to start a new job on 7/10/2006 in Greencastle. Granted, he'll be making 2/3 what he was before, but these days....that's REAL GOOD. He'll make $.43 less than me, and like I said before...I've been doing what I do for almost 25 years. If he can hang in there for 8 years (until he's 65) I will quit my job, and we can move wherever he wants. I've promised him that, I think I owe him that.
He's stirring, I'll make him fresh coffee. :-) TTFN

Foot note: Pun intended. The leg's doing well, better than expected. I can even wear my cute summer shoes now. Maneuvering in the yard is still tricky because of the mole holes..but I'm pleased.

DINK to SINK

As of this Friday, I will be an official SINK. Was a DINK before, and I'm soon to be a SINK. That means " single income, no kids". Not sure how Mike will deal with all of this. I hope all will be ok.